As one transitions from childhood and adolescence into youth, the factors that cause mental stress also undergo changes. The primary issues that lead to mental conflicts during this phase are often related to one's career and life partner, which become integral parts of life during early adulthood. This article aims to introduce the latest scientific insights into the causes and solutions for the mental stress created by work and marriage.
Mental stress arises when the demands of a job or workplace conditions clash with an individual's preferences, expectations, or ideals, or when the person lacks the necessary expertise or physical stamina to complete the work comfortably. Studies indicate that workplace stress reduces the annual productivity of countries by about ten percent. Factors like time constraints, overwhelming external pressures, and general uncertainties are making modern workplaces more stressful for the "new generation." Given these challenges, the issue of work-related mental stress deserves special attention from employees, employers, society, and governments alike.
Work-related stress does not affect everyone equally. An individual's personality, health, lifestyle, education, financial stability, self-confidence, work style, and past experiences influence how much they are affected by job stress. The ability to overcome challenges, manage emotions, and navigate uncontrollable circumstances is also crucial.
Some researchers argue that a lack of freedom to express opinions at work, an authoritarian decision-making environment, and uncooperative colleagues or superiors are major factors that make work stressful. Others highlight the lack of fair compensation as a significant issue. Excessive workload, working beyond stipulated hours, the encroachment of work into personal life, monotonous tasks, and insufficient breaks during work can also contribute to mental stress. Additionally, family problems and other life difficulties often spill over into the workplace.
A moderate amount of stress can help dispel boredom, spark creativity, and enhance decision-making abilities. However, excessive stress can shatter self-confidence, hinder personal growth, weaken immunity, and lead to mental health issues like depression and anxiety or physical ailments like heart disease. Stress-induced habits such as smoking and lack of exercise also pose health risks.
Prolonged stress often leads to burnout, characterized by extreme fatigue, resentment, and detachment. An excessive commitment to work, an obsessive need for perfection, and similar traits increase the likelihood of burnout over time.
(Answer "Yes" or "No" to the questions under each of the three headings.)
Give one mark for each "Yes" answer. Then, tally the marks for Intensity, Control, and Support. Refer to the index below to interpret your scores.
Intensity of my job: ...... (0-1: Low; 2-3: High)
Control over my job: ...... (0-2: Low; 3-5: Adequate)
Support at my workplace: ...... (0-1: Very low; 2: Moderate; 3-4: Very good)
Those with high Intensity scores or low Control or Support scores are more likely to experience mental stress and related issues.
A situation perceived as stressful by one person may be seen as a challenge or an opportunity to prove oneself by another. An individual's assessment of how dangerous a situation is and their ability to handle it determines whether it causes stress. Past experiences also shape how one reacts. Thus, evaluating stressful situations, deciding how to respond, taking appropriate actions, and experiencing varying levels of stress are all part of a continuous process. Recognizing and addressing the layers in this process can help individuals cope more effectively.
During stressful times, irrational thoughts may arise unconsciously, such as "This is the end!" or "Why does this always happen to me?" Such thoughts can heighten anxiety and weaken one's ability to cope. Deep-seated misconceptions like "I must never fail" or "I should never feel tired or fall sick" can also perpetuate mental stress. Identifying these thoughts, analyzing their validity, and replacing them with rational alternatives can help. Rehearsing these alternatives beforehand can prevent negative emotions in future situations.
Learning scientifically proven techniques to manage anger, use time efficiently, set realistic goals, say "no" without offending others, analyze problems, and find practical solutions, along with relaxation exercises and yoga, can help prevent and mitigate stress (see boxes).
Planning and allocating available time mindfully can enhance efficiency and productivity. Here are some strategies:
When asked to do something undesirable, one can respond assertively, non-assertively, or aggressively. Non-assertiveness is reluctantly agreeing despite discomfort, while aggressiveness is bluntly refusing in a hurtful manner. Assertiveness is expressing feelings and opinions honestly without violating others' rights. For example, if someone who previously damaged your car asks to borrow it again, a non-assertive response would be, "Fine, take it. Just be careful." An aggressive response would be, "Don’t you have any shame asking again? Learn to drive properly first!" An assertive response would be, "Last time, even if unintentional, there was an accident. I don’t have the time or money to deal with another one. If I weren’t so busy, I’d have dropped you myself. Can you ask someone else for now?"
Assertiveness is naturally the most desirable for mental well-being. When speaking assertively:
After identifying stress-inducing problems, follow these steps to find solutions:
Avoid temporary fixes like smoking or drinking, which can harm long-term productivity. Instead, adopt the above techniques for lasting relief.
Previously, employers often blamed employees for stress, ignoring its causes. However, awareness and regulations are changing this. Studies show that excessive stress leads to increased absenteeism, turnover, early retirements, and workplace conflicts, reducing efficiency and customer satisfaction. Employers must address organizational issues for lasting change.
Employers should identify stress triggers and collaborate with employees to eliminate or mitigate them. For excessive workloads, consider shift adjustments, additional training, or better tools. If employees feel decisions are imposed, grant them more autonomy in task execution. Regularly train supervisors and provide counseling skills to selected staff. Offer appropriate treatment and rehabilitation for severe stress or mental health issues.
Family harmony is essential for societal peace. Recent societal changes have increased marital stress while diminishing couples' ability to cope. Longer work hours and dual-income households have made balancing work and family life challenging.
Experts cite personality clashes, mismatched expectations, and differing views on responsibilities as key causes. Misunderstandings, competitiveness, frustration, and anger arise when couples lack communication or conflict-resolution skills. Sexual issues, extramarital affairs, and substance abuse also contribute.
Psychologist Albert Ellis identifies "all-or-nothing thinking" and "absolute statements" as cognitive distortions fueling discord. Examples include "Love me unconditionally or not at all" or "My in-laws must accept me, or my life is worthless." Absolute statements use words like "never" or "always," e.g., "My wife must never break her word" or "I must always be strict."
External factors like workplace stress, financial problems, or conflicts with relatives can also strain marriages by reducing quality time or triggering hidden undesirable traits.
Earlier research focused on major issues like unemployment or accidents, but newer studies highlight daily hassles as more damaging. Their subtlety makes couples overlook them until consequences become severe.
Minor disagreements can help couples revise expectations and strengthen bonds. However, prolonged conflicts may lead to aggression, infidelity, suicide, or health issues like depression, heart disease, or cancer. Emotional turmoil can weaken immunity and disrupt bodily functions.
Children of quarreling parents often suffer from despair, anger, low self-esteem, or aggression.
Warning signs include more disagreements than agreements, negative reactions to suggestions, and defensive or passive responses during discussions.
Experts emphasize that poor communication is the main cause of marital conflicts. Effective listening and expression are vital (see box).
Miscommunication occurs when "filters" distort messages. For example, a husband upset from work may unknowingly respond angrily to his wife’s innocent question, which she misinterprets as dislike. Fatigue, mental health issues, or substance abuse can act as filters. Preconceptions and beliefs often perpetuate misunderstandings. Recognizing and addressing these filters can prevent unnecessary conflicts.
Initially, discuss external causes of stress. Share how the problem affects you and what support you need. If disagreements arise, start with mutually agreeable solutions. Avoid unnecessary debates during crises.
If self-help techniques fail or stress escalates into depression or anxiety, seek professional help. Address issues like sexual problems or alcoholism. Marital therapy can benefit couples with severe conflicts.
Persistent despair, appetite or sleep changes, irrational thoughts, poor concentration, chest pain, or suicidal tendencies may indicate mental health issues requiring treatment.
(Published in the November 2013 issue of Mathrubhumi Health Magazine)
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Drawing: Stress Anxiety Depression by John Ashton Golden
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